Let’s dive into the myth of progress as a binary choice—this idea that we’re either moving forward or sliding backward, with nothing in between. It’s a narrative we’ve all bought into at some point, whether it’s in the gym, our diets, or even how we approach our careers and relationships. We tell ourselves, “I’m either making progress or I’m failing,” and that black-and-white thinking can be toxic.
Think about it: how often do you catch yourself in an all-or-nothing mindset? “I’m either eating clean or I’m eating junk.” “I’m either crushing my workout or I’m wasting my time.” “I’m either working toward my goals or I’m falling behind.” It’s a trap, plain and simple. This perception sets us up for frustration because it ignores a crucial reality: most of the time, we’re not on a fast track to success or barreling toward failure. We’re in the middle ground, what I like to call “holding.”
Holding is the often-overlooked third option in what we mistakenly think of as a binary world. Instead of imagining our progress as a line where you’re either gaining ground or losing it, picture it as a triad. On one side, you have gains—the progress, the wins, the big steps forward. On the other side, you have losses—the setbacks, the slip-ups, the moments when you feel like you’re regressing. And then, in the middle, you have holding—this vast, steady space where you’re maintaining, keeping things stable, ensuring that you’re not losing what you’ve already worked so hard to achieve.
The biggest chunk of our lives happens in that middle space. We think progress is all about those peaks of success, but the truth is, it’s more about how well we hold our ground when we’re not at our best. Holding doesn’t mean you’re stuck or stagnant; it means you’re keeping the foundation solid so that when the time is right, you can push forward with confidence.
Consider your diet, for example. It’s easy to think, “I’m either eating well or I’m totally off the rails.” But in reality, most of the time, you’re somewhere in between. You’re making choices that, while not perfect, are still far from terrible. Neither grand victories nor disastrous defeats—just you holding your ground, making sure that you’re ready for that next big push. (Or not!)
The same goes for fitness. Not every workout needs to be a PR or a grueling session that leaves you wiped out. Sometimes, just getting to the gym and moving through the motions is a victory. Those sessions where you’re not pushing your limits but you’re still showing up are crucial. They’re what keep you in the game, preventing those big losses and setting you up for future gains.
But here’s the thing: the world doesn’t celebrate holding. It’s not flashy; it doesn’t make for a compelling social media post. “Hey, I didn’t set a PR today, but I didn’t lose any ground either!” isn’t exactly inspiring, right? Yet, this is where the real, sustainable progress happens. It’s in the quiet consistency, the daily grind, the small choices that add up over time. Holding is the glue that keeps your progress intact.
Recognizing the importance of holding can also reduce the pressure we put on ourselves to make every single effort count in some monumental way. When you realize that progress is a triad, with holding being the largest part, you start to understand that not every workout, meal, or decision needs to be extraordinary. Sometimes, it’s enough just to show up, to keep things steady, to maintain. And that’s not only okay—it’s powerful.
So, the next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’m going backwards” take a step…back. More likely you’re just standing still. Hanging. Chillaxing. Holding your ground isn’t failure; it’s the foundation of success. It’s the space where you prepare for those big gains and protect against those potential losses. It’s where you build the resilience to keep going, even when the progress isn’t obvious.
In a world that glorifies the highs and dramatizes the lows, let’s give some credit to the middle ground. Let’s appreciate the art of holding, of maintaining, of simply staying in the game. Because that’s where real, lasting progress is made—one steady, unremarkable day at a time.