Today is the day! The Lumos Intramural Open is upon us, and it’s time to put on our competitor’s caps. Even as we do so, it’s valuable to check in and make sure that we’re having a good time, that this fun little competition is lifting us up, and that our ego isn’t making the experience unhealthy or unpleasant. Let’s work hard, have fun, and feel good!
Competition is supposed to make us better. It pushes us to improve, forces us to confront our weaknesses, and gives us a reason to keep striving. But at some point, competition can stop being a tool for growth and start being a trap. A trap driven not by a desire to improve, but by ego.
When competition becomes about validation—about proving something to others rather than testing yourself—it stops being healthy. It stops making you better. Instead, it locks you into a cycle of self-worth tied to results, where your success is no longer about progress but about maintaining an image.
And the worst part? The ego trap can be incredibly subtle. You might not even realize you’re caught in it.
How Ego Warps Competition
Ego is a double-edged sword. On one hand, confidence and self-belief are essential for competing at a high level. You need a certain level of conviction to push yourself, to believe you can go further than you have before. But when confidence turns into an obsession with status, rankings, and external validation, the game changes.
Here’s what ego-driven competition looks like:
- You only feel successful if you win – Instead of seeing progress as the goal, you only measure yourself by whether you beat someone else.
- You avoid challenges where you might lose – Instead of seeking out tough competition to grow, you stay in safe environments where you can dominate.
- You make excuses for failure – Instead of learning from a loss, you rationalize it away: “The judges were biased,” “The workout didn’t suit me,” “They got lucky.”
- You fear looking bad more than you fear not improving – Your main concern isn’t whether you’re getting better; it’s whether others think you’re good.
At its worst, ego can even make people stop competing entirely. If someone’s identity is wrapped up in being “the best,” they might avoid situations where they could be exposed as anything less. They might stick to small competitions they know they can win, or they might quit competing altogether rather than risk losing.
And that’s the real irony—ego doesn’t actually make you better. It makes you fragile. It makes you avoid situations that could force you to grow.
Signs You’re Stuck in the Ego Trap
Ego doesn’t announce itself loudly. It’s sneaky. It whispers in the back of your mind, convincing you that your self-worth is tied to your performance. Here are some signs that you might be caught in the ego trap:
- You compare yourself to others constantly – Instead of focusing on your own progress, you obsess over where you rank.
- You take losses personally – A bad performance doesn’t just disappoint you—it makes you feel like less of a person.
- You train to be seen, not to improve – Your workouts aren’t about getting better; they’re about making sure people know how good you are.
- You avoid your weaknesses – Working on your weaknesses would mean admitting they exist, and that’s uncomfortable.
If any of these hit a little too close to home, don’t worry. The fact that you’re recognizing them means you can start shifting your mindset.
How to Compete Without Letting Ego Take Over
The antidote to ego is simple: compete for growth, not for validation. Here’s how to start making that shift:
- Redefine Winning – Winning isn’t just about first place. Winning is showing up. Winning is getting better. Winning is putting in the work, even when no one is watching.
- Seek Out Challenges, Even If You Lose – True competitors don’t hide from challenges. They seek them out. Losing to someone better than you isn’t a failure—it’s a chance to learn.
- Detach Your Self-Worth from Results – You are not your ranking. You are not your PRs. You are not your worst performance or your best. You are the sum of your effort, your resilience, and your willingness to keep showing up.
- Learn to Love the Process Again – Strip everything away—the leaderboard, the applause, the expectations. If no one was watching, would you still be doing this? If the answer is yes, you’re in the right place. If the answer is no, it’s time to reconnect with why you started.
Letting Go of the Need to Prove Something
The best competitors aren’t the ones obsessed with winning at all costs. They’re the ones who love the challenge, who embrace both victory and defeat as part of the journey.
If competition has started feeling like a burden—if it feels like something you have to do rather than something you want to do—it might be time to step back and check your ego.
Because the truth is, the people who compete the longest, who improve the most, who truly enjoy the game? They’re the ones who don’t let ego drive them.
So ask yourself—are you competing to prove something, or are you competing to get better? The answer to that question will determine not just how far you go, but how much you enjoy the ride.
